 |
Ingleside Presbyterian Church A Congregation of the Presbyterian Church in America |
|
|
Ingleside Presbyterian Church A Congregation of the Presbyterian Church in America |
|
Happy Father’s Day to you dads
sitting here today!
A little over a month ago, a lot of fuss
was made about Mother’s Day.
Husbands and children made sure that they
bought appropriate cards and flowers and gifts for mom, taking her to
lunch or preparing a meal themselves at home.
I asked a sales clerk this week if she was
ready for Father’s Day.
She looked kind of blank at me and
muttered, “Yeah, sure,” as if it hadn’t crossed her mind. While Father’s Day is generally
NOT a big deal in our culture, as compared to Mother’s Day, it is still
good to be a man, isn’t it guys?
You ladies may wonder why.
I’ll give you a few examples:
Since the 1970s, there has been
an effort by many in our society that have tried to convince women that
they can be as masculine as men and men that they can be as feminine as
women.
So we have put them together in a large
mixing bowl and mixed them up until many are no longer sure what their
role really is. I want to sketch a broad picture of fatherhood this morning. Where can you find guidance for fatherhood as it ought to be? I’m sure that you would agree that the Bible is the best source. I’ve selected a passage from I Thessalonians 2 that few would consider to be a Father’s Day text. I Thess. 2:7-12, Paul writes:
“But
we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own
children.
So, being affectionately desirous of you,
we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our
own selves, because you had become very dear to us.
For you remember, brothers, our labor &
toil: we worked night & day, that we might not be a burden to any of
you, while we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. You are witnesses, &
God also, how holy & righteous & blameless was our conduct toward you
believers. For you know how, like a father with his children, we
exhorted each one of you & encouraged you & charged you to walk in a
manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom & glory.”
Five Traits
of a Godly Dad:
Notice what Paul says that he
is “affectionately desirous”
of the folks he is writing.
In other words, he’s saying “We have loved
you SO MUCH!”
In the original language these words
express an intensity of love.
He’s saying, “It’s hard to even find the
words to express how much we really do love you.”
I believe that is an important character
trait for dads because loving and expressing love does not come
naturally for most men.
The reason the Bible tells husbands to
“love” their wives, is because guys have to learn how to love.
The Bible almost never tells wives to
“love” their husbands, because that trait comes naturally for women.
Now, the Bible encourages wives to
“respect” their husbands, because sometimes that is hard to do. Dads, do you remember your
first child coming home from the hospital after birth?
Your wife seemed to know what to do.
She knew that the head was heavy and that
the muscles of the neck weren’t developed enough to support it, so she
supported it.
She also knew about the soft spot on the
top of the head was a vulnerable place and knew that you had to be
careful.
She knew when the baby was hungry and when
the diaper needed changing.
And she changed it with skill.
She knew when it was bath time and play
time and sleep time.
She knew all these things. We guys had a lot to learn.
Holding our baby for the first time was an
awkward experience.
I didn’t know that the diaper needed
changing until there was a noticeable sagging or a strange odor.
And changing cloth diapers…that was another
experience.
But we improve and along the way, we begin
to enjoy our kids.
We enjoy holding them and expressing love.
The bad thing is, about the
time we guys are getting good at it, they grow up.
In the comic strip
“For Better of For Worse”, it
shows dad coming into a room where his teenage daughter was sitting on
the couch, watching TV and munching popcorn.
So he sits down next to her and helps
himself to her popcorn.
As he is sitting there, a thought bubble
appears above his head.
He’s thinking, “I remember when she was so
young. I would hold her in my arms and loved her and it was wonderful.
She’s all grown up and such a beautiful
girl, too.
I wonder what she would think if I held her
like I used to and told her again that I love her?”
He finally concludes that she would be
uncomfortable if he did that.
While he’s thinking that, his daughter is
thinking, “I wonder why Dad never hugs me anymore?” Dads, the best example of
fatherhood is our Father in heaven.
And the best story to illustrate that is
the story of the Prodigal Son.
This story is applicable to everyone,
because we’ve all experienced the feeling that we knew better than our
parents did.
You know the story.
The son goes off to a far country and
squanders his money.
When he runs out of money, he runs out of
friends, and ends up in a pig pen, eating from the slop that he is
feeding to the pigs.
This is most humiliating place for a Jewish
boy to be. The Bible tells us that
“he came to his senses.”
And he remembers that his father’s hired
hands have food to spare and here he is starving to death.
He decides to go back home.
The prodigal felt he could go back to his
father.
The relationship might never be the same,
but he knew the door was open to him. You remember that the prodigal
rehearsed this speech: “I have
sinned against heaven & before you. I am no longer worthy to be called
your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”
I bet he practiced that speech all the way
home and he had it down pat.
But before he could blurt it out, his dad
had run to him and thrown his arms around him and kissed him.
This father had no fear of expressing love,
did he? Our Heavenly Father always
leaves the door open for us to come home again.
Dads, we need to teach our children, no
matter how deep their sin, “You can always come home.”
They need to be assured of our abiding
love.
I Thess. 2:8
“We were ready to share with you
not only the gospel of God, but also our own selves.”
There is a connection between the gospel
and our lives.
It is one thing to hear the gospel.
It’s another thing to live it.
Paul is saying, “We not only told you the
good news, but we modeled it for you by how we lived. Dads, if we are believers, our
kids should see it by the way that we live.
Your relationship with Christ should impact
every daily decision you make.
The values in your home will be different
than those found in a pagan home.
A pagan home values pleasure, power,
prestige and possessions.
In a Christian home, we learn that things
we can’t see, can’t buy and things we can’t hold onto are really the
most precious.
We have completely different values. We should handle life
differently.
We should handle stress differently because
we have a peace available to us that the world doesn’t understand. Robert Fulghum is best known
for his book “Everything I Needed
to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.”
He’s
written another book about grown children coming home again.
He says that it is normal for grown kids to
come back home and to reminisce about things they got by with when they
were younger—things that mom and dad never found out about. He recalls
that when his kids began reminiscing, his oldest son said, “Dad, when I
was fourteen and you and mom were gone for a while, I went out in the
garage and got in the car, started it up, backed it out and drove it
around the block several times, and then put it back in the garage. And
you never knew it.”
Everyone laughed and he went on, “Another
time when you and mom were at the grocery store, we kids went out in the
backyard and smoked a cigar. You came home early and we thought for sure
that you had caught us. But you never knew and we got away with it.”
Once again everyone laughed. Fulghum told his kids, “You
didn’t know some of the things your mom and I got by with. For instance,
you never knew that we took a cut off all the money Grandma sent you at
Christmas. You never knew that oftentimes we told you we weren’t serving
leftovers, that they really were leftovers disguised in some way. You
never knew that when you called me from camp and you were so homesick
and I told you that I missed you, that I lied.”
He went on, “I know who sent you the
anonymous valentine cards. And I know who got into my wallet and took
money and never said so. And there were times when I let you lie to me,
because the truth was too hard for either of us to hear. And there were
times when I told you I loved you when I didn’t love anybody, not even
myself.” That is transparency and it’s
hard to deal with.
But kids need to see in their dads, not
only an authority figure, but someone who is real—whose heart has been
touched and changed.
Someone who still makes mistakes and has
the courage to admit that he has made mistakes.
Verse 9:
“For you remember, brothers, our
labor & toil: we worked night & day, that we might not be a burden to
any of you, while we proclaimed to you the gospel of God.”
I believe parents have a responsibility to
pass on a good work ethic to their kids.
We teach that by example, by just doing and
letting our children see that.
But our kids also learn by doing.
We need to give them opportunities to do
things and make their own mistakes and hopefully learn from those
mistakes. The young son of an artistic
dad was attempting to draw a picture of a horse.
The son had apparently NOT inherited that
art gene from his dad and made a clumsy attempt at a somewhat stick-like
horse.
His dad started giving advice which didn’t
help very much.
So dad took a piece of paper, drew a
beautiful horse and handed it back to his son saying, “Here, that is the
way you do it.”
The son replied, “But, Dad, I want to draw
my own horse.”
Parents, ultimately every child has to draw
his or her own horse.
And dads need to be wise enough to step
back and let them do that…to make their own mistakes and learn from
those mistakes.
And that is hard to do.
Vs. 10
“You are witnesses, & God also,
how holy & righteous & blameless was our conduct toward you believers.”
Paul had witnesses to the Thessalonians
through the verbal preaching of the Good News of Christ, but he also
“preached” by the way that he lived his daily life before them.
His relationship with Jesus Christ
influenced his behavior. Scripture has commissioned
fathers to be spiritual leaders.
And, dads, you are the spiritual leader of
your home whether you realize it or not.
You will either lead your family closer to
God or further away.
If you are a believer, it is your
responsibility to lead them closer to the Lord.
And if you acquiesce to that
responsibility, you are by default leading them closer to the Evil One
and his kingdom. As spiritual leaders it is our
responsibility to show that we are genuine…that our Christianity is not
just something for Sunday, but something we are all week long.
If you carry your Bible to church on Sunday
but you never open it through the week, your kids will know.
If you pray here on Sunday morning when
everyone else is praying, but you never pray at home, your kids will
know that too.
If you never worship God through the week,
or if you aren’t a good steward of what God has given you, your children
will learn that too. It is critical that our
children see that our faith is genuine.
It is our responsibility to model that
faith and teach it to them.
One day a mom made the mistake
of leaving her baby daughter in her husband’s care while she was busy
doing work in another room.
He immediately buried himself in his
newspaper and forgot all about the baby until he heard a series of
thumps, followed by a horrendous cry.
Instantly he knew that the baby had fallen
down the stairs.
He called out to his wife, “Honey!
Come quick!
Our little girl just took her first 24
steps.”
A final characteristic for dads…they are to
be…
Vs. 12
“We exhorted each one of you &
encouraged you & charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who
calls you into his own kingdom & glory.”
That is what a godly dad does.
He encourages and comforts and urges his
kids to live lives worthy of God.
That is the positive stuff a Christian dad
is supposed to do.
It doesn’t always work out that way. Twelve-year old Brian’s Boy
Scout troop planned a Father-Son campout.
His dad had agreed to go but listen to how
Brian describes the event: “The Friday of the campout finally came and I
had all my gear out on the porch, ready to stuff it in his car the
moment he arrived.
We were to meet at the school at 5 p.m. and
car pool to the campground. But Dad didn’t get home from work until 7
p.m.
I was frantic, but he explained that things went
wrong at work and told me not to worry.
We could still get up first thing in the
morning and join the others.
After all we had a map.
I was disappointed, but decided to make the
best of it. First thing in the morning, I was up and had everything in
his car while it was still getting light, all ready for us to catch up
with my friends and their dads at the campground.
Dad had said we would leave around 7 a.m.,
but he didn’t even come out of his room until 9 a.m.
When he saw me standing out front with the
camping gear, he finally explained that he had a bad back and couldn’t
sleep on the ground.
He hoped that I’d understand and be a ‘big’
boy about it… but could I please get my things out of his car, because
he had several commitments he had to keep.”
Brian concluded the story:
“Just about the hardest thing I’ve ever
done was to go to the car and take out my sleeping bag, cook stove, pup
tent and supplies. And then, while I was putting my stuff away in the
storage shed and he thought I couldn’t see, I watched my dad carry his
golf clubs out and throw them in his trunk and drive away to keep his
‘commitment.’
That’s when I realized my dad never meant
to go with me to the campout. I didn’t matter to him, but his golfing
buddies did.” In Dan Benson’s book, “The
Total Man,” he writes that for every positive word that most dads say to
their children, they say ten negative ones.
Dads are really good at words like “don’t,”
“you can’t,” “stop that,” and “no,” but they aren’t very good at the
positive words.
Guys, many professing Christian men see Christianity as a duty—a good and necessary duty, but not something to get excited about. The best solution for that attitude is to surrender to God and allow God’s Spirit to lead you in one direction…one step at a time. We should want God and His righteousness more than anything. When you yield to God’s Spirit, He will develop His fruit in your character and you’ll become a different person. Henry Varley said, “The world has yet to see what God will do with a man who is fully and wholly consecrated to the Holy Spirit.” Fathers of Ingleside, let’s strive to be that man. Please pray with me. Please visit us at our next worship service.
In Christ,
|
|
| Copyright © 2010 Ingleside Presbyterian Church | |
