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“Stress Busters: God's Antidote for Damaged Emotions”
Psalm 23:3
IPC, March 15, 2009

Rachel and I really enjoyed our whirlwind trip to the Windy City last weekend and appreciate Kevin’s help. Little Johnny asked his grandmother how old she was. She answered, "I’m 39 and holding." Johnny thought for a minute and then asked, "And how old would you be if you let go?" We are continuing an interrupted series on the 23rd Psalm and today, I want to look at God’s remedy for damaged emotions. Like Johnny’s Grandma, at times, we’re just holding or holding on. Ps. 23:3 "He restores my soul." That is great news. All of us need to have our souls restored periodically. We all get hurt—life is tough. We get beaten up and beaten down by discouragement, depression and despair. We have fatigue, failures, frustrations and fears. We have hidden hurts from our past. We carry wounds, battle scars and emotional garbage. God is a better garbage collector than BFI. He wants to restore your soul.

But how does He do that? There are three areas where I believe we need to have our souls restored. Guilt, grief and grudges are three things that keep us in emotional instability.

1.  Let God Remove My Guilt.

Nothing can destroy a soul faster than guilt. Ps. 38: 4, 6 "For my iniquities have gone over my head; like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me…I am utterly bowed down & prostrate; all the day I go about mourning." Two problems with guilt. (1) We all have plenty of reasons to feel guilty. We’re all imperfect and make mistakes. By nature, we carry guilt in our lives. (2) We can’t get away from it. It’s in our mind. Even if we go to a new location, we carry a guilty conscience with us. Prov. 20:27 "The spirit of man is the lamp of the Lord, searching all his innermost parts." How do we get rid of guilt? There are a lot of options.

• You can deny it. Simply pretend it doesn’t exist. You can bury the past, but it’s still alive and it resurrects itself. You can’t deny it.

• You can minimize it. "It was no big deal." If it was no big deal, then why do you still remember it? Why can’t you forget it?

• You can compromise it by lowering your standards. Just believe that it’s not wrong anymore. Fortune cookie: "Commit a sin twice and it won’t seem like a sin anymore." The tenth murder isn’t nearly as bad as the first one. If you keep doing something over and over, your conscience will eventually become seared to it, but it doesn’t relieve the guilt.

• You can rationalize your guilt. "Everybody does it." In the first place, everybody DOESN’T do it. But even if they did, that doesn’t make it right for you. "Rationalize" means "rational lies." I’m trying to convince my heart about something I know is wrong, by having my head say, "It’s ok." But your heart knows better.

A college professor was the conversation piece on a Christian college campus because of his horrible driving. Kids said things like, "I left class early so I could get home safely before Professor Gladstone got on the road." After the prof had three accidents in six weeks, a student said to his wife sympathetically, "The devil sure has been causing your husband problems in his driving." Her reply, "Honey, don’t blame the devil. George never could drive."

• You can blame other people. In our minds we have scales between what we do wrong and what others do wrong to us. We balance it… "I feel bad about this, so I’ll blame you for that."

• You can beat yourself up. Oftentimes we set ourselves up to somehow pay for our sins. Can guilt make you sick? You bet it can. Can guilt cause depression? Absolutely. Can guilt cause you to set yourself up for failure? Without a doubt. Guilt tells us that we don’t deserve to succeed.

None of these things work. There is only one solution to guilt and that is found through God. He is the only One who can remove it. Rom. 3:23-24 "For all have sinned & fall short of the glory of God, & are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus." The most basic truth of Christianity is the fact that Jesus Christ has already paid for all of your sins. Everything you’ve ever done wrong has already been paid for. In fact, the stuff you’re going to do later—all the sins and mistakes have already been paid for. You just need to ask God to forgive and accept what Jesus did for you on the cross where He already has paid for all of your sins. That is how your guilt is removed. There is no other way. No psychologist is going to remove your guilt; they don’t have the power to forgive you. I don’t know what you’ve done, but it doesn’t matter because your forgiveness is not based on how bad you’ve been—it is based on how good God is. What matters is not what you have done, but what Jesus Christ has already done for you.

How do you get that forgiveness from God? You trust in Him. You don’t beg Him or bribe Him. You don’t bargain with God. Just believe. You trust. Accept Jesus Christ’s free gift. That is why it is such good news—it’s a free gift! I can start over and have a clear conscience.

However, maybe you’ve asked God to forgive you many times and you still feel guilty. That simply means that you don’t understand how God forgives. It’s immediate, free, complete and unconditional. If you keep asking for forgiveness for the same thing, you’re saying you don’t believe that He forgave you the first time and that is sin. If you still feel guilty about a sin you’ve already confessed to God, that isn’t from God, but it’s from the devil. The devil wants you to feel bad. Before you commit a sin, Satan minimizes the sin… "It’s no big deal." After you commit the sin, he shouts, "This sin is SO BIG, God could never forgive you!"

Col. 2:13-14 tells us how God forgives. "And you, who were dead in your trespasses & the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross." God canceled "the record of debt." He wiped out the evidence. He completely annulled it. When God forgives, He forgives completely. He throws them into the deepest part of the ocean and puts a "No Fishing" sign there.

God chooses to forget our sin. He chooses to forget sin that has been confessed and forgiven. It’s been paid for. When you pay a bill, do you still worry about it? No. On the cross, Jesus said, "It is finished." I’ve often told you what that means--it’s an accounting term meaning, "the debt is paid in full."

Confession is admitting our wrong and forsaking it. If we continue to sin the same sin, we have to keep coming back for forgiveness. And, as a result, it may be difficult to not feel guilty, because we’re continuing in the cycle. Keep short accounts with God.

2.  Let God Relieve My Grief.

Not everything that happens to us are things that we brought upon ourselves. Sometimes, we experience grief due to things that happen to us. You will be hurt in life and you will experience loneliness. This is not heaven—this is earth. It’s far from perfect down here. Some days you heart is broken. Some days, you’re going to feel in despair. Some days you’ll experience sorrow, loss and grief.

Where do you go when your heart is breaking? Throw a giant "pity party?" Play the "if only" game. Withdraw into a shell or hide in a cave? Isolate yourself from humanity and say, "I’ll never let anyone hurt me again?" Do you pull back and resign from life and be miserable the rest of your days? There is another option: You can let Jesus restore your soul.

King David was acquainted with grief. He understood how much it damages our soul when we hurt. Ps. 31:9 "Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my soul & my body also." David had cried so much from grief that he was worn out.

At times, we grieve over our own stupid actions. Other times, we grieve because a loved one is hurting or we grieve because we’ve experienced a loss. Sometimes we grieve because we’re innocent and someone has victimized us.

In 2 Samuel 12, David gives us some tips on how to handle grief. David had committed adultery with Bathsheba and had her husband killed. He carried that guilt but confessed it to God in Psalm 51, but then he felt grief. Bathsheba had a child from their affair, but the baby was born with major problems and David grieved over that. He got on his knees and prayed and fasted. He pleaded with God on behalf of the child, but the baby died anyway. What did David do with his grief then? He did three things which can help you in order for God to restore your soul.

• Accept what cannot be changed. 2 Sam 12:20 tells us that David got up from the ground, got himself cleaned up and ate. His servants wondered why and he explained in vs. 22-23: "While the child was still alive, I fasted & wept…but now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again?" Folks, all the grieving in the world is not going to change the past. The first step to emotional health and healing is ACCEPTANCE. Accept what cannot be changed. I can’t change my background or the hurts I’ve experienced and neither can you.

• Play it down & pray it up. Don’t exaggerate it, but dedicate it. Give it to God. Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional. The Bible says "Blessed are those who mourn," but if we hang onto our mourning too long, it will become moaning. Psalm 37:5 "Commit your way to the Lord." Instead of saying, "This is devastating me," say, "God, help me make it through this situation." In 2 Sam. 12:20 (David’s response) "Then David rose from the earth & washed & anointed himself & changed his clothes. And he went into the house of the Lord & worshiped." David went to church and worshiped God, who gave him a new perspective and strength to carry on.

• Focus on what is left, not what is lost. Vs. 24 "Then David comforted his wife, Bathsheba, & went in to her & lay with her, & she bore a son, & he called his name Solomon." You may be going through a grief right now. God is not finished with your life. He is not through with you. This is not the end. It does hurt, but it does not have to devastate you if you’ll open your life up to Christ and let Him heal your emotions. Ask God to remove your guilt and to relieve your grief. The rest of your life could be the best of your life. Is. 61:3 (LB) "To all who mourn…he will give: beauty for ashes; joy instead of mourning; praise instead of heaviness." You don’t have to remain a prisoner of your pain. It’s a choice.

Two women were talking at a cocktail party when one said, "Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other woman replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." The third point…

3.  Let God Replace My Grudges.

Some years back, a Yale University president gave this advice to a former president of Ohio State: "Always be kind to your A and B students. Someday, one of them will return to your campus as a good professor. And also be kind to your C students. Someday, one of them will return to your campus and build a two-million dollar science laboratory." We know we should treat folks the same, but we don’t.

Grudges come from what other people do to me. You will be hurt in life and we all know that LIFE IS NOT FAIR! People will hurt you—sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally. Either way, it still hurts. How you handle potential resentments in life determine whether you are a BETTER person or a BITTER person. The difference is the letter "I." I make the choice. I can choose whether the circumstance will devastate me or direct me onto a new path. You’ve heard that what really matters is what happens IN us, not TO us.

Job 5:2 (NIV) "Resentment kills a fool, & envy slays the simple." Resentment doesn’t hurt the person you’re mad at—it hurts you. Every time you rehearse what they did to you in your mind, they hurt you again. They may even be dead and they’re still hurting you from the grave. Job 18:4 tells us that we are "tearing ourselves into pieces in our anger." I’ve told you time and again to let God settle the score. He does a much better job at "getting even" than you or I could ever do. If we leave that to God, what do we do instead?

Eph. 4:31-32 "Let all bitterness & wrath & anger & clamor & slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Folks, if you have been forgiven by your Heavenly Father, God expects you to be forgiving. You will never have to forgive another person more than God has already forgiven you.

Dr. Martin Luther King said, "Bitterness is blindness." If I allow you and your hurt to make me bitter, it blinds me. It blinds me to the truth and to all that is good in the world. It blinds me to what God wants to do in my life. I cannot see when I am bitter.

You will never be healed from your hurt until you accept God’s forgiveness through Jesus Christ and then offer that same forgiveness to other people. What can remove your guilt? Only Jesus Christ can. He specializes in new beginnings. We call it being "born again." There is no reason in the world for you to go on with a guilty conscience when God offers forgiveness. Don’t punish yourself for the past. You don’t need a self-help book—you need a Shepherd. You need a Savior. Only a Savior can forgive that guilt.

What about your grief this morning? Are you still holding onto it and moaning instead of mourning. Are you looking at what is left instead of what is lost? Are you playing it down or praying it up? Have you allowed grief to lock into a self-imposed prison? Nobody locked the door—you locked it yourself. Ask God to relieve your grief.

What about your grudges? Are you still allowing people in your past to continue to hurt you in the present? They cannot hurt you without your permission. Give God your guilt and grief and grudges.

In Psalm 42, David asks, "Why are you cast down, O my soul, & why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him." Do you have "cast down soul" today? David is using a term that every shepherd would understand in being "cast down." It is position sheep get themselves in and they can’t get out. Sheep are built in such a way, that if they fall over on their side and then on over onto their back with their legs sticking straight in the air, they cannot get out of that position. Shepherds would call sheep like that being in a "cast down" position. It’s frightening to be a sheep in that position. It knows that it is open to attack. Also, when sheep are on their backs, gas begins to collect in their stomachs. It hardens the stomachs, cuts off the air passage and they suffocate. Also, their legs go numb in that position. Sheep in that position need a shepherd who restores their souls.

When a shepherd restores a "cast down" sheep, it doesn’t happen immediately. It takes time. First, a shepherd will massage the four legs of the sheep and try to restore circulation. The he talks in reassuring tones to the sheep. Then he gently turns the sheep over, putting his hand under the sheep’s belly and lifts it up because it can’t immediately stand on its wobbly feet. He holds the sheep while it regains equilibrium. The blood begins to flow in the legs again and it gains stability. It is then that the loving shepherd will gently let the sheep go.

What a picture of what God wants to do for you. When you’re on your back and flailing around and grief, guilt, and grudges are overwhelming you and you think you’re going to die in that position, the LORD IS YOUR SHEPHERD! He lovingly comes with reassuring words and tender hands, picks up His little lamb, sets him or her up straight and carries it until it has its stability back. Jesus Christ wants to restore your soul. If you’ve been cast down for any reason, He’s the only one who can help you get back up on your feet again. We can restore a lot of things…cars, painting, buildings… but only God can restore a soul.

How does He do it? Job 11:13 & 16 "If you prepare your heart, you will stretch out your hands toward him…You will forget your misery; you will remember it as waters that have passed away." Jesus will restore your soul. Let Him be your Shepherd and your Savior. Let’s pray.

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In Christ,
Bill Bratley - Pastor